NAH, BABY, YOU AIN’T FAT…


1. EVERYBODY BLEEDS GRAVY.

2. IT’S NORMAL TO BREAK A SWEAT WHEN YOU TALK.

3. I’M SURE LOT’S OF PEOPLE WHEEZ WHEN THEY EAT.

4. YOU JUST BIG-BONED…, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, BIG-BONED.

5. YOU JUST AIN’T SKINNY…. AT ALL.

6. I, TOO, CAN EAT A WHOLE TURKEY IN ONE SITTING.

7. THIS COULDN’T BE THE FIRST TIME SOMEONE LOST A COUCH UNDER THEIR ASS.

8. THEY DESIGNED THOSE THEATER SEATS SO THAT YOU HAVE TO USE TWO.

9. ELEVATORS ALWAYS SCREAM BEFORE PEOPLE GET IN.

10. THEY WERE GONNA CLOSE THE BUFFET EARLY ANYWAY.